An anonymous individual named “hfghf” asked my opinion on this article: http://metro.co.uk/2017/10/27/teenage-girls-want-relationships-with-older-men-thats-why-its-their-responsibility-to-say-no-7032490/amp/
In it, the author admits teen girls like older men, but comes to near insane conclusions as to why and demands that men must say no (and continue to seek relationships with older females, I wonder why….nothing to do with her age being around the 30s….)
Anyway, first read the article and if you are so inclined, you can read DailyAntiFeminists response here: https://dailyantifeminist.wordpress.com/2018/01/22/puritanism-feminisms-inherently-infantilizing-worldview-exemplified-by-an-article-i-was-just-linked-to/
Here is my breakdown:
I might not like it, you might like it, and we might all wish that is wasn’t true, but the thing is, teenage girls do fancy older men. They do desire them.
They do indeed. In fact, females in general like older males. From preteens to adults. There are biological reasons for this. Girls mature faster, girls seek stability and power, etc. Females aren’t driven only by these factors, but they play a bigger role for females than for males. However, females must also be raised to differentiate between abusive asshole cockiness with actual confidence and “manliness”. Just like males need to differentiate between trashy cheater and attractive sexualness in females. We both have to embrace our natural instincts but be wary of them.
When we pretend that teenage girls don’t have a sexual identity, or that they don’t ever find older men attractive, we ignore the problem. When we ignore the problem, we allow it to flourish.
What is the problem? She never quite articulates it and it boils down to “I don’t like men going for younger girls because I lose power in the sexual marketplace”.
I attended an all girl Catholic boarding school where there was, as you can imagine, sweet FA in terms of male attention to be had. I had always assumed that man-drought was the reason that most of us developed a passionate crush on a teacher at some point in our school career.
But having spoken to women who were raised in slightly less bizarre circumstances, I’ve revised that assumption. It’s not just girls who go to school in the middle of nowhere with no boys to flirt with who form passionate romantic obsessions with male teachers.
It happens at every school, in every town, all over the world.
I am so far impressed by her willingness to see the truth and be honest about this. Sadly she will go and adjust this information to fit with her current world views. Refusing to take this information and adjust her world views, which is what she should have done.
Don’t we all have that friend who dated an ‘older’ guy when she was at school? I have more stories than I can count of sneaking out of school to meet up with men in their twenties and thirties so that we could drive around in his car drinking the alcohol he’d brought us and sneaking an illicit cigarette.
Here it comes, when I read this part I knew she was going to go into the whole “they aren’t really attracted to the man, they just like feeling like “adults”. I picked it up right away because this is a common argument. That being said, there is some truth to this, but I will expand further later.
When you’re a teenager it doesn’t take much to make you feel sophisticated. Drinking, smoking and the ability to drive feel like the trifecta of adulthood, and if you’ve got even two of the three, you’re impressive.
I knew it, she goes right into being logical to being irrational. Thing is, she doesn’t quite seem to either remember her desires or actually bother to ask teen girls their desires. I have relatives who are 10-14 and they are horny little nymphs. Talking about wanting to deepthroat, sharing pictures of shirtless attractive men (yes men) and photoshopping themselves with those men and saying things like “yummy” and “delicious”, and yes, being attracted to more powerful older men too (but note that those powerful men are still conventionally attractive). Those relatives’ friends have expressed interest in me as well. Laying down subtle brags about their sexual prowess and experiences. Trying to convince me of their maturity. In fact, I believe my refusal to engage in sexual relations drives them even crazier. Which is ironic, because it does not alleviate their desires, only time does that. Still, being constantly blueballed is preferable to being anally reamed in prison.
Dating a teenager is a particularly intoxicating opportunity for men who struggle with women their own age. The benefit of being an older man is that you’re able to attract more conventionally attractive girls.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha *takes deep breath* ahahahahahahahahahaha
Here comes her modern feminist drivel to the extreme. “Men that go for younger girls can’t get older mature women (like me)!!!” Come off it babe. The reason men like me and men in general don’t want older women comes down to two main reasons:
- I am biologically attracted to preteens for the most part. Teens still retain much of that preteen attractiveness for me. They have a great combination of adult characteristics and preteen characteristics. Though I prefer preteen. Notice though that shaven women, with flawless skin and big eyes are desirable in our culture. Basically women that look like children with breasts and a buttocks. Basically teens. Teenage females are the most attractive females to most men. So men like me are just not that attracted to adult females for biological reasons and men in general are more attracted to the youthful vitality of teenage females.
- Many adult women these days are just insufferable. They live in a society that props them up as near gods and removes much of their responsibility when they are nasty or awful and excuse it as being ” an independent women”. To be fair, many men are intimidated by actual independent women, so the situation is swampy. This one I can’t just blame females for. Look at the author of this article. She is using the law and social manipulation to make men go for women like her. She is not going to change her personality because to her, nothing is wrong. Every man is wrong and those teen girls are wrong. Everyone but her. That attitude destroys any arousal I have for many adult females.
A younger woman will look up to you. She’ll listen to you. She’ll see you as wordly, she’ll see you as impressive. If you tell her she’s ‘mature’ for her age, she’ll believe you.
Rebecca I find it amusing you presume to know exactly why I am attracted to young females. No, it isn’t because she fawns for me as some kind of big daddy. It is because she is vibrant, she has the zest for life, she is fun loving, she wants to explore and play (sorry my pedophilia is leaking into my explanation) and she is not yet a god danged harpy. I also prefer perky breasts and a perky bottom. Youthful features that, again, relate back to my pedophilia but also express health and vitality.
Now don’t mistake me, I do not think that females should be giving birth in their teens, but they should have children by the late twenties at the latest. So let’s say I date a girl of 16, when I am in my early-mid thirties she will be early twenties and it would be perfect. She would have her degree and I would have a career already built and going. Stability, maturity and a backup plan. We would both be at the ages that the decline really begins.
Even a small age gap – mid teens to early twenties, still carries this kind of imbalance. The vast majority of men would never want to accidentally take advantage of a younger woman. When it happens it’s not motivated my malice or designed to be predatory. It’s because they don’t realise that they’re acting from a position of power.
Here it comes, the argument that “any power imbalance implies abuse”. First, females are attracted to power, so she is suddenly making the argument that females are attracted to abuse. Suddenly she is supporting my friend, DailyAntiFeminist’s, viewpoint that rape should be legal. If women are attracted to abuses of power then they would be attracted to the most ultimate abuses of power.
In my opinion however, being attracted to power is normal for both sexes and especially females. When it actually becomes abusive is when that power is wielded to obtain sex or whatever. Sorry Rebecca, but your argument is garbage. Power imbalances exist in every relationship and often constantly shift. For instance, in modern society, the underage teen female holds all the power. One mention of the relationship gets the male sent to prison and the teen endless amounts of attention. Teen females hold all the power, but people like you, Rebecca, want to convince them they are powerless. Modern feminism is about creating victims and making women weak. You are an insult to the real feminists who fought for property rights and responsibilities.
I draw a line in my head between the older men I fancied at a teenager who resolutely refused to engage with it, and those who indulged it or even courted it. There were teachers who let me embarrass myself with clumsy childish flirting but never encouraged me for a second. I feel intensely grateful to them now. I would have done literally anything that they wanted.
There were also people who weren’t so scrupulous. A boss who groped me whenever he could. Older men at parties who made comments about my body or came on to me. I remember them too. And I wish they’d known that I didn’t fancy them because they were interesting or attractive, but because they seemed powerful to me.
It sounds more like you specifically had daddy issues and you are projecting your daddy issues on all teen females that like older males. How you feel now is also not some logical conclusion, it is how you feel or rather, how you convinced yourself to feel. You have been overtaken by the cult of victimhood. Your sexual advances and adventures you now view as abuse. You have went from viewing yourself as an adventurer in the sexual realm to one abused by manipulative men. You inadvertently argue that females can’t be trusted to make their own decisions because they will regret it because they are weak minded. In fact, that is what this whole #metoo movement does. Look at these women who were with Franco or Aziz. They were grown women and they are making the arguments you make for teens. So Rebecca, when can women be trusted to make their own decisions? Never it seems. Well I refuse to believe that, which may be a fault of mine, but I refuse to believe females are incapable of being independent at any age. I see women as capable of power. I also feel the problem lies in how this culture raises females. In a near schizophrenic fashion. That’s a post for another day though.
They weren’t powerful. They were sad men who were dazzled by youngness and flattered by my attention. They didn’t pause to think about the fact that I would remember how they ran their hands over my body or asked me if I was ‘still a virgin’.
Blah blah blah. You know it made you wet as a young female but you have forced a victim status on yourself to fit your current mental schema. Now if these men did it without your want (you use terms like “grope” and make the men seem creepy and not romantic) then your argument really is null and void because it wouldn’t make sense, but I think you are using these words to further convince yourself when deep down you know you enjoyed it and know you had no problem with exploring your sexuality in such a way.
I just wish that for once the older man would brush her off and encourage her to go off and find someone a little closer to her age to explore with, at least until she reaches the status of a legal adult.
She defeats her own argument with this last line. Why Rebecca? What is the difference? Why can’t you explore with an older person or both a young person and maybe another time an older one? What is the science, show me the research, the logic. Especially for teen girls. This reeks of social brainwashing and nothing more.